There's a statute that says a Swedish pop group must regularly become furious.

It's the law of Abba rages.
#RateMyPun
#LunchPun

My mate is fantastic at snooker

He can play all day without needing a rest

#TuesdayTitters #RateMyPun #LunchPun

Work is giving me a holiday in Cornwall because I'm working Bank Holiday

I get hours in Looe

#MondayMirth #RateMyPun #LunchPun

I thought sympathy was what an orchestra played

#MondayMirth #RateMyPun #LunchPun

At my annual appraisal my manager started chucking silage between my shoulder blades.

When I asked why, he said he was just giving me feed back

#WednesdayWit #LunchPun #RateMyPun

You may be entitled to compensation if you compensate for something
#LunchPun
#RateMyPun
#whyme

One birthday I wanted a guitar, but my parents bought me an adult size trumpet

That was a huge blow for me

#MondayMirth #RateMyPun #LunchPun

Being a Therapist for Mime artists isn't easy

They won't talk about their feelings

#TuesdayTitters #RateMyPun #LunchPun

Accidentally bumped into this in an art gallery, and it went blank. Turns out it was an Escher sketch.

#lunchpun #ratemypun

I was worried that DFS had run out of Battlestar Galactica memorabilia - but it turns out they've always got a Cylon!
#RateMyPun
#LunchPun

The nasty old man along the road won't stop stabbing people.

He's the git that keeps on shivving.
#RateMyPun
#LunchPun

Upon reflection it was a bad idea to hire a Tourettes Male Voice Choir to serenade my Girlfriend

#BadJokeFriday #RateMyPun #LunchPun

I entered the national spoonerism contest and won pursed fries. #LunchPun #RateMyPun

I went round to Old McDonald's to play Scrabble

And on that farm he picked out two E's ,Two i's and an O

#BadJokeFriday #RateMyPun #LunchPun

Just heard someone say they have three granddaughters... That's quite cheap... In the UK, the cost of raising a child up to the age of 18 is around £150,000.

#Lunchpun #Ratemypun

so, somewhere in heaven there's this door, right, a dormitory; angels giving new souls the tour like to say, and I'm conjecturing here: 'That belonged to Lucifer, its haunted.' To which the new human soul says 'Imma ghost ya know' the angel freaks out
#RateMyPun
#LunchPun
#whyme

I’d been meaning to book an appointment with my GP, but I happened to bump into her by chance on the street:

“Can I have a word, doc?,” I said

“Wouldn’t you prefer a pdf?,” she replied

#SideSplittingSunday #LunchPun #RateMyPun

I love the colour green. In fact, I like it more than blue and yellow combined.

#LunchPun #ratemypun

Bob Marley: ONE LOVE.

Me: Umm...that's not how you tally points in tennis, bro...

#LunchPun #RateMyPun

Out for a pint with a farm pig, the brazen boar refused to share the mild Rose's cordial with me, so I could not sweeten my glass of lager... it was a case of the swine hogging the lime lite. #LunchPun #RateMyPun