I must have eaten too many apples because no doctor will come near me.
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Screenwriters spend years trying to perfect natural-sounding dialogue, only for some movie star to come along and make it all up on the spot.

I hate it when bugs crawl up my legs. I'm not that desperate.
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The Bible says that God will supply all my needs. That’s more proof that I don’t need a man. #JokeoftheDay #write10club #joke #comedy #comedian #comedy writer #AuthenticAlabama #femalecomedian #womenincomedy Joel Byars Hot Breath! Podcast

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German Sheperd is such a doting father!😍
Credit: JukinMedia
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Bathroom is a strange name. I barely have enough room for a toilet in mine, let alone take a bath.
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My apartment doesn’t have mold. I just call it my in-house garden.
Joel Byars @HorBreathPod The Comedy Crowd #NewDayNewJoke #Write10Club #JokeoftheDay #joke #comedy #comedy writer #freelancewriter #womenincomedy

As a procrastinator I have an endless supply of days, because tomorrow's just a day away.
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He's old but I still have an appetite for Paul McCartney. I just fear he might be spoiled.
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Dad, it was 6 months ago today that you left us but you continue to inspire and encourage me every day. #GenePerret #Comedy #WritingCommmunity #comedywriter

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My boss said I'd like a word with you, you're fired. I said that's two words. He said that's why you're fired.
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