gay people can’t say “you look good” anymore it’s always “Mother Theresa could not beat these charges”

Used to be that you could eat delicious eggs without worrying about your cholesterol intake. But not anymore. Because of yolk.

wait guys that’s that me espresso

wrote this because I just have allergies I swear

Mike Faist’s character in challengers really hit home for me as someone who is pathetic

SUN 6/9: T4T: Two-Year Transgender Comedy Anniversary Spectacular with (((Ella Yurman))) & Terrence Dugan!
Featuring Anya Volz Clara Olshansky damien DeAnne Smith Freddie Shanel JEOPARGAY 6/4 kate sisk Kaye liva + MORE!

🎟️: tinyurl.com/4w7jnpbz

knee deep in the passenger seat and ur eating me out

my friend: how ya feeling
me, on an edible:

In a country where children go hungry, people die unhoused and libraries are only open part time, this is where our resources go

Long before there was Me Espresso there was

too many supportive boyfriends present in the gynecologist’s waiting room … should we throw a party? should we tell the Supreme Court?

staring at the eclipse vs. 30 minutes after staring at the eclipse

thank you, emergency alert. I did not realize an earthquake happened 25 minutes ago 🙏I will be on the lookout for the earthquake that has passed!

listening to the new Chappell then vampire weekend then jojo siwa feels like supporting all edges of the queer community even the ones that are weird 🫡🫡🫡

please, Bodies Bodies Bodies was my father. call me the Three Body Problem

this is his way of saying 'et tu, brute?'

every LinkedIn message when you say you're a writer is like 'TRAIN THIS AI TO WRITE PLEASE WE'LL GIVE YOU $40 don't worry about the implications don't think too hard just say yes! it will happen with or without you.'

TONIGHT! LAF Hosted by liva and Freddie Shanel!

Featuring Special Guests Phoebe Robinson George Civeris ryan haley + Isabel Levin!

9:30PM Doors ∙ 10PM Show
🎟️: tinyurl.com/36zyaz2f

this is what it feels like to have your name called first at a mic