OH: Why do aliens never visit the solar system? Because it only has one star.

who would win? millions of TPU-hours of RL or two cheeky austrians 😜 arxiv.org/abs/2210.04045

Neeraja Yadwadkar and I are excited to announce that the ACM SIGCOMM HotNets 2022 (Austin, TX) invitation lottery is now open. You can enter at forms.gle/jzneuGZgNSCVYv… no later than Thursday, October 5th. And please help spread the word around! 🙏

Woot. Vivian Fang's paper CostCO won distinguished paper award at EuroS&P (ieee-security.org/TC/EuroSP2022/…). The paper describes a framework for automatically generating cost models for MPC protocols, reducing overheads when incorporating them in existing optimizers.

CostCO: An automatic cost modeling framework for secure
multi-party computation
Vivian Fang (UC Berkeley) Vivian Fang, Lloyd Brown (UC Berkeley), William Lin (UC
Berkeley), Wenting Zheng (UC Berkeley/CMU), Aurojit Panda (NYU),
Raluca Ada Popa (UC Berkeley)

EuroS&P 2022 Distinguished Paper Award Finalists are Announced! #EuroSP22
ieee-security.org/TC/EuroSP2022/…

Next week, we will present at USENIX NSDI 'Isolation Mechanisms for High-Speed Packet-Processing Pipelines'
here is the pitch: can we extend RMT hardware to enforce isolation between different packet-processing programs?
(usenix.org/conference/nsd…)

CS Faculty Twitter! Cornell, Maryland, and Max Planck host a 1-week summer school (CMMRS) for aspiring undergraduate and masters researchers. Please help spread the word -- the application deadline is approaching (17th Feb) cmmrs.mpi-sws.org

xkcd.com/2556/ this is too close to reality.

New SIGOPS Blog -- 'Reproducible Experiments for Useful Internet Systems' by Frank Cangialosi (Frank Cangialosi) and Akshay Narayan (@akshayknarayan) from MIT.

This's the 3rd ep of the blog series, How Are Award-winning Systems Research Artifacts Prepared
sigops.org/2021/reproduci…

David Chu (UC Berkeley) receives the #SOSP21 SRC Graduate award! Congratulations, David!

Benjamin Carleton (University of Rochester) receives the #SOSP21 SRC Undergraduate award! Congratulations, Benjamin! 🏆🏆🏆

Guess this is just the atmosphere realizing that the semester begins tomorrow.

And if you're new to the systems community, check out the preview session with background info on the main ATC and OSDI topics, organized by Dilma da Silva Sangeetha Abdu Jyothi Aurojit Panda Deniz Altınbüken usenix.org/conference/atc…
USENIX Association #atc21 #osdi21

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.

Currently reviewing a paper for a French-language journal and I just learned that the French call a 'pie chart' a 'camembert'. Now I want to know what pie charts are called in other languages so we can make a delicious chart of the results.

this is the best video i have ever seen

False fact that we could make true if we wanted to: Linux users pronounce zsh “sleepy shell”.