walking into my night shift in the ER when I saw a cat that lives behind the hospital dumpster and as any reasonable person would have done I have named the cat and developed a strong emotional attachment to him so if anyone disrespects Dumpster Dave u will have to answer to ME

summary of my run today!!!!

bugs in mouth: 0
cute bunnies seen: 2
bunnies with room for improvement: 1
bugs in nose: 2
caterpillars moved to safety: 2
little brown mushrooms (see below): 2

Couches are finally in!

“abdominal pudding”

anyone want to tell me what cool chemical is in my desk light?

(hint: if you ingest it, it can cause carbon monoxide toxicity)

telling my parents to burn my baby pictures so the menswear guy doesn’t see my bad infant fits

This is all nonsense. I’m so tired of people thinking they can exercise themselves to “healthy vision.” Let’s take a look at these exercises…🧵

Do not eat polyurethane foam y’all

Not a fan of having children put plastic bags in their mouth for any reason tbh

my husband and I were running from a demon who was trying to kill us (in a video game) and I was about to die bc I couldn’t find a hiding spot but then my husband gave me his hiding spot and the demon killed him instead of me and I was like omg babe noo and then I looted his body

one time when i was a resident it was my birthday and the nurses in the ER gave me a slice of cake in an emesis basin