happy memorial day

In my freshman year of college I presented a speech for my speech class about the history and evolution of memes. Got an A but I do think that was a foreshadowing of the fact that I would later drop out

Are you okay babe? You’ve barely touched your Duolingo lesson

If you come across my account it’s because you did something terrible in a past life and this is your karma

So my prefrontal cortex developed a bit, and as it turns out, no I don’t

I want an ounce of the confidence of the deadbeat dad from hs preaching abt family values on Facebook

If you’re looking for a quirked up goblinesque woman with an affinity for confessional poetry and the profound sadness of a circus elephant in her eyes… well… I’m probably your bitch!!!

That one sexist homie that ruins your day>>>

The duolingo bird is reaching for my feet beneath the public bathroom stall door

My college degree is literally just laying around in my car underneath some McDonald’s trash and a pair of crocs

my dog listening to me argue with amazons customer service rn

The employees at the McDonald’s on sunshine want every customer dead

Mama’s Hungry… Mama needs Sustenance…

Is it pick-me-esque to prefer the man over the bear? I have a deep rooted fear of being mauled

How it feels to get recognized for my meme account irl

#normalize holding grudges for the rest of time

How it feels to have a bday on Christmas Eve

My father randomly decided that the family’s Pomeranian is a Trump supporter (???) and has now bought him a little Trump hat. My dad didn’t even vote for Trump, he just feels that the dog would… retirement has rotted his brain I fear

Meeping at the bitches

Just big & greedy