Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?

me smiling at you because i didn't hear anything you just said

I hate when I go out in public and the public is there

A group of high schoolers behind me started singing the National Anthem at the peak of the eclipse for some reason

How can I make this earthquake about me

For the next 6 months, my daily mood will depend on if the Yankees win or not.

Peace up A town down

I asked my mom yesterday if glasses are a business expense cause I’m not able to see the work I do without them

me at the gym asking if anyone is using the 5 lb dumbbell

There are no 2 temperatures further apart than 55° in February and 55° in September

Why does Andy Reid have an ombré mustache?

SpongeBob Spherehead

New collab with this guy in 2024?

I had to explain to someone what nap roulette was yesterday

My Uber driver was listening to a radio station playing mostly commercials, and when they started playing music he switch to a different station just to listen to more commercials

Me every day

Ok but why are LCD’s final shows in NYC’s black hole (Maspeth)?

Any other producers pronounce Ableton in a French accent?

Henry Kissinger saw my Spotify Wrapped and was like “nah I’m out”