American Lawyer gives its 'Litigator of the Year' award to someone who helped defend Johnson & Johnson against claims that their baby powder caused cancer and swept the liabilities into a shell company which was then sent into bankruptcy. truly a cursed profession.

goodbye everyone, i'm the same @ on Giga Pet™ so make sure to feed me and make me poop there or i will die

So which one of y’all wants to try the #BabeRuthChallenge 😂

insurance commercials in the 1950s: a real man buys life insurance so that his family will be taken care of after he dies in a cool car crash

insurance commercials now: jon hamm wants to have sex with our mascot

me: time for some music

bluetooth headphones: excellent. instead of connecting to your phone, i’ve connected to your neighbor’s fridge for some reason

Today is a reminder of how hilariously disorienting Twitter can be. An endless stream of overwrought tributes to a monarch, jokes about her death & then random brand tweets like 'On behalf of the entire Weber Grill family, we solemnly lay down our tongs in her majesty's memory.'

i think the most important lesson from all this don’t worry darling nonsense is that you can’t have a project that’s entirely made up of insanely hot people. you need some uggos and plainfaces to bring normal energy into the mix or else you get this fuckin trainwreck

so great to see you this weekend! i have no idea what i said because when i socialize i black out and go to a different realm with pretty colors and shapes where i am no longer afraid but!!! we must hang again soon

please somebody tell movies that knives don't make noise

i wish other professions besides pro sports had trades. like damn, glenn from HR got traded for cash considerations

(understanding 0% of what I’m being told as i’m getting trained for my new job) that all makes perfect sense, no questions

being in your 30s is a recurring cycle of waking up and finding out about a new tall white rapper named lil big gulp or yung desk lamp

white smoke has emerged from the chimney atop north hollywood high school, signaling that leonardo dicaprio has chosen a new girlfriend

oh you're playing music at the beach?? you think your taste in music is superior to poseidon's 24/7 ambient mixtape???

Here’s how Dems can + must do more than wait for an election.

Let’s start w/ why:

- 7 of the 9 justices were appointed by a party that hasn’t won a popular vote more than once in 30 years

- 1 of those seats was stolen

- Several lied to Congress to secure their appointment…

absolutely wild that the scotus said, no states rights for restricting gun sales and full states rights for restricting healthcare for women in a matter of 24 hours. its so transparent.

Forced birth in a country with no paid leave.

Forced birth in a country that values guns over children.

Forced birth in a country with no free healthcare.

Forced birth in a country with high maternal mortality rates.

Forced birth in a country with no universal childcare.

Hello everyone, and thanks once again for your support of abortion funds, the NNAF site is down currently. Show your support of abortion funds and donate at nnaf.org/investinaborti…. Your gift will be split between more than 80 funds.

Feckless, cynical, manifestly overmatched, all of that. But I am constantly blown away by how fucking WEIRD this party is. What are you even going for, here? twitter.com/FarnoushAmiri/…