Me: Mom what do you want for ‘Mother’s Day’?

Mom: …oh nothing, honey

Me: *Venmos $100 for a mani/pedi*

We’re in celebration mode for Small Business Month, giving $20k to 10 deserving businesses. Apply by 5/31/24 for your chance.

Special consideration will be given to business owners from historically underrepresented communities, many of whom face additional barriers to growth.…

“Can you Venmo me my allowance? Thanks mom!”
-love your 26 year old stay at home child

Before you take my leftovers ask yourself:
“Do I have $30 to spare?”

The cost of eating my leftovers is going up ⬆️

Sending weekly Venmo requests to all of my friends to see who is the “Friend of the Week” CBTM

Tired: being embarrassed to live with your parents

Wired: not paying rent

We see you and we love you 💙

Do we have to go out this week(end)? We can’t just stay in?

Hold up, lemme cook 🔥

*your friend texts you after dinner*

'Just sent you a Venmo'
look between the R and the U on your keyboard

Repeat after me:

“I will not spend money. Return policies aren’t what they used to be.”

*Types in group chat*

“Group study date. 3:30 @ the library…
Everyone Venmo me your coffee order”

Friends: “wanna go get a smoothie?”

Me: Sure!

My smoothie:

hey bro, do you want to buy me a coffee and I’ll Venmo you back and then we can switch sides next time?

Yeah, I like to spend money:

My
Own time hanging with my
Nice friends in the
Evenings just chilling
You know?

It’s always the right time to learn a little sign language 👌

Happy National ASL day y’all!

When people say they miss college what they miss is hanging out with their friends until 2:00am on tuesday for no reason and we feel that

people won't remember:
- your job title
- your salary
- how hard you worked

they will remember:
- that time you sent your friend a Venmo request for a sip of their soda

Tag your favorite 3rd place 🥉