Tommytoughstuff(@Tommytoughstuff) 's Twitter Profileg
Tommytoughstuff

@Tommytoughstuff

aka Rickyroughguy

ID:450010057

calendar_today29-12-2011 19:23:07

27,4K Tweets

23,4K Followers

393 Following

Tommytoughstuff(@Tommytoughstuff) 's Twitter Profile Photo

[having dinner with my magician friend]

*waiter drops off the check*

*a puff of smoke from across the table*

ME: Real nice dude.

account_circle
Noah Garfinkel(@NoahGarfinkel) 's Twitter Profile Photo

“Let me get this straight, you got your asses kicked by four fully mature mutant ninja turtles?”

“No, sir, it’s actually worse than that.”

account_circle
capitalism liker(@HumanPog) 's Twitter Profile Photo

welcome to map club
the first rule of map cl
whats that?
no sorry this is not fight club
ok see you are here
you actually want to be over h

account_circle
Tommytoughstuff(@Tommytoughstuff) 's Twitter Profile Photo

GRIZZLY DETECTIVE: Son, I’ve seen things that would haunt your dreams.

TRUE CRIME PODCASTER: Speaking of dreams, let’s hear from our sponsor Casper Mattress!

account_circle
vladchoc(@vladchoc) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Math problem. I have three apples and am traveling towards you at 17mph. It's not really a problem, more of a warning. Apple time, bitches.

account_circle
Jon(@ArfMeasures) 's Twitter Profile Photo

ME: I wish I had a TV camera I can look at in opportune moments

GENIE: um ok

ME: I wish everyone was gullible

GENIE: Done

ME: And I wish for updog

GENIE: What's updog?

ME: *looks at camera*

account_circle
Snorklhuahua(@weinerdog4life) 's Twitter Profile Photo

me, to shovel salesman: [at a shovel store] how’s this do with like dirt & stuff?

shovel salesman: i’m not gonna bullshit you it’s pretty good

account_circle