Oh so when I wander around central London asking for horse I get arrested but when you guys do it—

did they ever ask for her forgiveness or is she just desperate for them to notice her lmao

My brother in Christ, your band mate lost two of his fingers in a non-union factory.

Wes Streeting MP Lord Sugar Wes, are there any boots you wouldn’t lick, given the choice?

TRANS PERSON: *exists*

LABOUR: won’t someone think of the children!!!

STARVING KID: hi

LABOUR: fuck off

They pulled Dexter over for not wearing a seat belt, then fired at him 96 times in 41 seconds. Abolish the police.

My head tells me I hate Reeves the most but my heart, my heat tells me Streeting.

That’s the thing though, they are

[Private healthcare donations literally spilling out of my pockets]: the hard left simply cannot grasp the aspirational, centre-left values of Spire Healthcare Group PLC

Happy dead witch day to all who celebrate, everyone who misses Margaret Thatcher is a nonce defender 🍾

Scientists publish explosive findings that the “top shortage” is a “myth”. Slamming “apocryphal pussy deficit theories” the paper’s author Dr Dom V. Ruffleigh admonished press: “it’s an ontological error” that “misidentified an actual phenomenon my team has named ‘skill issue’.”

Cats are like “hello I am so sleek and elegant look how sleek and elegant I am well anyway that’s enough of that I am potato now”

Fled to a different continent

My mum worked in a supermarket and my dad the mcdonalds factory and they bought a house like this for £85,000 in december 1999