Plainly and obviously, you appreciate the Muppets on a much deeper level. Buy this mug now and prove it. bit.ly/447pIIB

Americans Explain Why Presidents Should Have Immunity bit.ly/49P1qo7

World Wildlife Fund Publishes Photo Of What Species Last Seen In 1987 Might Have Evolved To Look Like bit.ly/4d8E1R5

God Loses Pouch Filled With Crystals That Give Him Powers bit.ly/3QfZCgN

Man Tentatively Takes Shot At Bad-Mouthing Girlfriend’s Family For First Time bit.ly/3U7CK49

Today in Onion Real Estate: bit.ly/3UrSws3

Nation’s Therapists Refuse To See You Anymore Because You Scare Them bit.ly/4aFpkU6

Unclear Why Woman Thought Thing She Just Pushed Out Of Vagina Would Be Cute bit.ly/3QfizjA

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Dad Blows Through 10 Of Child’s Snack Packs In One Sitting bit.ly/49VySta

Skydiving Instructor Not Opening Parachute Until You Change Tone bit.ly/4aLhvMP

Girlfriend’s Eyes Peeking Up Over Torso During Blow Job Like Gator In Bayou bit.ly/49PbcXg

This Week's Editorial Cartoon: ‘End Zone Reception’ bit.ly/3Qc247Y

Ways Robot Wives Will Solve The Western Dating Crisis bit.ly/3UhjmC6

Light Pole Installation Causes 911 Service Outage Across Several States bit.ly/3w4Xdig #WhatDoYouThink ?

‘Seek Funding’ Step Added To Scientific Method bit.ly/4b3yWrG

The Official Motto Of Every State bit.ly/4b6wAbD

55-Year-Old Guy Dominating YMCA Pickup Basketball Game bit.ly/3w2uQBc