Sailors on board the USS Carl Vinson

Happy Mother’s Day to Melania!

My family is staying at a hotel for Mother’s Day and I just spent two hours cleaning my room before checking out today. Who does that?

My daughter saw some of my racier Instagram posts and for Mother’s Day bought me Emily Post’ book on etiquette and a bible.

[mother/daughter chat]

Me: “Mom, did you want a daughter or a son.”
Mother: “All I wanted was a back rub but your father had other ideas.”

All mothers are special. but every year I honor my mother for giving the world it’s greatest gift - me!

- Happy Mother’s Day!

Where else other than Republican politics could you could be physically attracted to children and still have a job?

When I meet a man to whom I'm physically attracted I always make a point of asking him if he's married the next morning.

Lauren Boebert dating a Democrat proves even Conservative women find Democratic guys more physically attractive.

I honestly thought this was more clever than most of you.

MAGA douche discovers he’s an illegal immigrant. wsvn.com/news/local/flo…

Nikki Haley will find it irresistible to be one cheeseburger-induced myocardial infarction away from the presidency.

We wanted to understand the science behind last night’s lspectacular aurora borealis. So we talked to four unvaccinated RFK Jr. supporters at a natural medicine clinic in Marin County.

This means she’s almost certainly under consideration.

Nikki is Trump’s Haley Mary pass.