tonight pip pulled herself up onto my bed as i was brushing my teeth. she can now get onto every piece of furniture i own. nowhere is safe.

ALL SIX OF THEM BUY SOMETHING! (... right?)

i bought pip this cute teething toy that looks like a tiny stick. the problem is that from across the room, it also looks like a little poop.

today is SEVEN YEARS since saffron and i started our lives over, just us. bittersweet today as it’s my first anniversary without her. i tried to explain the significance to pip, but she is a tiny berserker as evidenced by this photo.

THEY GOT IN. ALL SIX OF THEM.

i want some fucking recognition for the fact that i have had salad twice in the last week.

a play in two acts: the plushie puppy is dead. long live the plushie puppy. o7

QRT your skull art ✨

things i think about multiple times a week that i never anticipated spending this much brain power on:

1) the optimal way to fold and arrange my shirts in my dresser
2) the guards in skyrim like “you see the warriors from hammerfell? they’ve got curved swords. CURVED SWORDS”

you can’t really quantify how much you love someone but i can say that apparently i love Pip enough to fish goose poop out of her mouth with my bare hands.

ALL SIX OF THEM ARE STILL TRYING TO GET INTO THE CITY.

for our first mother’s day together, Pip vomited on my bed just past midnight.

voice impressions of cartoon moms

Happy #MothersDay ! 💖

kraft mac and cheese and oreos: #tiredpuppymomdinner

do you ever see a post and double-take bc it feels like you must have written it but if you did you don’t remember so what the hell is going on should you be alarmed oh god (note i am not interviewing this is definitely not me i checked)

i just got annoyed at pip and told her she needed to recognize she “lives in a fucking society”

1) as if she understands any of those words and 2) as if any of my neighbors understand this