That’s exactly what Jack Black would say.

'OJ Simpson dies at 76 years old today.'

Me:

Ever get so high...

I ain't no quitter.

Me looking at the eclipse today so I can file for disability tomorrow.

How about pay your employees?

Why experience the eclipse when you can look at memes about the eclipse on the toilet?

'Forget everything you learned in college, you won't need it working here'

'But I didn't go to college?'

'Well, then you're unqualified for this job'

When you're new to a game and haven't
unlocked any of the cool moves yet.

Health insurance is cool cuz you get to pay a bunch of money each month for nothing & then if something happens to you, you pay a bunch more.

No better day than Easter to re-share one of the greatest comebacks of all time.

Do the dew.

He gave me Monday and Friday off work. Thanks, dude.

Guess who's back

Drunk guys at ball games will see this and think 'hell yeah.'

If “Can I have the bathroom key?” was a photo.

The 'Don't worry guys, I got this' of signs.

When someone insults you and it's actually a good one you've never heard before.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with this.

i dOn'T uNdeRsTAnd wHy pOePle aReN't hAviNg kIDs anYmORe