my well being is actually entirely dependent on whether i have someone to flirt with or not

thinking about going gay for pay

so jealous of comedians who made it their thing to sit on stage. standing for a whole hour? truly one of the worst parts of the job

i’m gonna look directly at the eclipse just to spite the haters

if any handsome man wants to let me curl up on his lap and let me recount the 600 page book on Queen Elizabeth I i just finished, just lmk

my favorite genre of tiktok is ‘woman who turns her hot european husband into a laughingstock’

still thinking about how i went to the times square raising canes in december and they had the original buddy the elf costume on display for some reason?????

for my mental health, i’ve decided not to acknowledge the existence of any hot people today

with every relisten of Cowboy Carter, i get dangerously closer to planning a barn wedding with mason jar lights and hay bales for seats

traitors australia season 2…….. a level of utter stupidity unseen on television perhaps ever before

nothing more humbling than posting a thirst trap for a single person’s attention and then they don’t engage with it. like guess i’ll fill my coat pockets with rocks and wade into a river?

it’s so unnatural seeing Beyoncé meeting fans. it’s like seeing jesus at the mall

“you still liking it out in new york?” - my extended family every time i see them after living in new york for 11 years

honoring jesus’s triumph over evil (?) by testing my stomach’s strength against a tray of deviled eggs

He is Grisen

every time i hear the harmonizing on AMERIICAN REQUIEM

Beyoncé Yee-Haw Carter said you’re getting VOCALS BITCH

this is me, if you even care

Day 2: “the donut machine is down”

didn’t get as much attention as i wanted today, everybody better try harder tomorrow