It’s never been this loud lol

Someone apologized to me today, and I was caught between saying “no worries” and “all good” so instead I said “no good” and totally undermined myself, but I suppose that’s better than “all worries”

I was ready to write off advertising and commercials saying that it doesn’t work on me, but then I just saw the Wookie Cookie coffee from Bones coffee company.

These cicadas be spittin. It’s so loud out here lol

Damn. YouTube is really demanding on my computer right now I guess

How come doctors are saying cigarettes are bad for you now, but used to say they were good for you?

Is there anything else doctors have changed their mind on?

Could they have been wrong when they told me I'm diabetic? Should I stop taking my insulin?

Is it technically an infinite food glitch for two moms to breast feed each other?

Hows your cicada season?

My favorite part of a massage, is having my back skin pulled like taffy.

How hard would someone need to fart while sitting on the ground, to wake up Yellowstone?

I just had a sneeze so powerful I needed to put my head down on my desk and close my eyes for a few seconds to recover

There’s no bigger flex in the world than being able to poop your pants in front of a crowd to tell people you’re the leader of the free world.

I heard Zyn pouches turn your lips into concrete?

We got the whole gang mobbin

Why has the human body undergone millennia of evolution, but has decided that sometimes it’s okay for your sinuses to swell up to the point air cannot travel in or out? Seems like a bug that should’ve been fixed before release.

When I was at HorrorHound in Cincinnati back in March, there was a vendor selling a bunch of low-budget scary movies.

One was titled “Dick Shark” and for $15 you could get the 1.5 hour version, but for $20 you could get the 7 hour version.

I regret not buying it.

Had this guy pop up on my Spotify discovery weekly, and I got mad respect for his bio. I feel the same way about Dr Pepper and Raising Cane's

Me and the homies lining up outside Dewey's Pizza waiting to get the Tito Santana taco-pizza.