Hal Cruttenden(@Halcruttenden) 's Twitter Profileg
Hal Cruttenden

@Halcruttenden

Stand up comedian, actor and writer. I’m hcruttenden on Threads and Instagram

ID:90497345

linkhttp://www.halcruttenden.com calendar_today16-11-2009 22:11:43

23,2K Tweets

50,0K Followers

1,1K Following

Saracens Rugby Club(@Saracens) 's Twitter Profile Photo

🌹 Ben - England Men's Player of the Year.
🏆 Marlie Packer - Special Merit Award.
🍾 Owen Farrell - Champagne Moment of the Season.

A special night at the RPA Awards 🙌

💫

account_circle
I haven't(@With1V) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Andy Smart: A Comedy Tribute
3rd June 2024
Duchess Theatre, London
Let's sell it out!
Starring Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی Omid Djalili Milton Jones and so many more.
In support of Crisis
Tix
theduchesstheatre.co.uk/tickets/a-come…

Andy Smart: A Comedy Tribute 3rd June 2024 Duchess Theatre, London Let's sell it out! Starring @ShappiKhorsandi @omid9 @themiltonjones and so many more. In support of @crisis_uk Tix theduchesstheatre.co.uk/tickets/a-come…
account_circle
Hal Cruttenden(@Halcruttenden) 's Twitter Profile Photo

So, Enfield Council , you say my call is important to you but you don't answer. I know it's hard because of government cuts. Why not say, 'I'm sorry you're still waiting, but local government is starved of funds so we can't afford to employ people to answer calls.'

account_circle
gabyhinsliff(@gabyhinsliff) 's Twitter Profile Photo

This is a sad, mangled end to Diane Abbott’s career & I can’t imagine anyone much in Labour feels good about it. Suspension was warranted but so was restoration of the whip & the dignified retirement she apparently wanted theguardian.com/politics/artic…

account_circle
Hal Cruttenden(@Halcruttenden) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Tories, and their client media,know it’s awkward that the PM’s worth three quarters of a billion, so they need to make Keir Starmer look posh and out of touch. This will only play with the most ill-informed in society. And that’s the only people they’re trying to influence.

account_circle
Hal Cruttenden(@Halcruttenden) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Starmer went to a grammar school that became private while he was a pupil there. Consequently, Starmer’s family didn’t have to pay fees. Pathetic client media attempt to make out Starmer had a privileged background. Quentin Letts was privately educated of course.

account_circle
Hal Cruttenden(@Halcruttenden) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Of all the abuse that I get when I attack Farage and others, this is my favourite. It’s a put down but done in a gentle, fond way. Let’s all try to use words like ‘soppy bollocks’ more…

account_circle
Hal Cruttenden(@Halcruttenden) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I will also make an announcement on you, Nigel, from Enfield at 10am tomorrow. Since neither of us have any real power, who the hell cares…

account_circle
Femi - REGISTER TO VOTE BY 18 JUNE(@Femi_Sorry) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Sky News: Nigel Farage claimed 46% of British Muslims support Hamas and terrorism.

FACT-CHECK: Farage was quoting a survey that asked Muslims to choose between the Israeli government and Hamas, after the Israeli government has killed 35,000 mostly Muslim people.

account_circle
Hal Cruttenden(@Halcruttenden) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Even if the figures are true and 46% of British Muslims support Hamas, why does Nigel Farage care about the opinions of 46% of British Muslims? He didn’t care about the opinion of 48% of British people after 2016.

account_circle
Hal Cruttenden(@Halcruttenden) 's Twitter Profile Photo

It is extraordinary how some people still tweet comments like this because I don’t talk in the way that they consider a typical heterosexual man should talk. Extraordinary how some have not moved with the times and… er… why doesn’t he know my wife left me?! 😂🤣

It is extraordinary how some people still tweet comments like this because I don’t talk in the way that they consider a typical heterosexual man should talk. Extraordinary how some have not moved with the times and… er… why doesn’t he know my wife left me?! 😂🤣
account_circle
Hal Cruttenden(@Halcruttenden) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I'm not sure our kids are ready for National Service. These were my thoughts when the idea of conscription was raised a few weeks back...

account_circle
Hal Cruttenden(@Halcruttenden) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Let me guess, are there lots of Leinster fans saying ‘Toulouse deserved to win but the referee was terrible’? It’s the rugby fan’s way of saying ‘I’m not saying we were robbed but we were robbed’ without looking like bad sports.

account_circle
Hal Cruttenden(@Halcruttenden) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I imagine he wrote one article like this, and there’s a second one where he says that Socialism is exactly what Britain needs right now…

account_circle
Hal Cruttenden(@Halcruttenden) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Before the general election, there’s an even more important election. Please vote for Ravi’s Dream Team on Britain’s Got Talent. This young man, along with friends and family, is performing to raise awareness of the fight against brain tumours. Please vote!

account_circle