Politics is so often presented as Westminster drama but this is what it’s really about. People are dying of treatable illnesses because the Tories decided to shred the NHS. Human beings - mums, sons, sisters - will literally die because the Tories are in power. It’s horrific.

I think we all know by now that there are no depths to which the Tories won’t sink as they try and cling on to power, but suggesting Palestinians fleeing war crimes are terrorists is truly a new low.

Do not let the door hit you on the way out to the unemployment line.

Think this might be the worst idea in history because I’ve never had the desire to steal garden tools but now it’s my top priority and I won’t hesitate to recruit an army of middle aged women with fibromyalgia who want a new patio Stevie

Congratulations to the best agent in town Diana Beaumont (pleased to be one of the moderately talented authors going with her)

I reviewed Liz "blue tick" Carr’s blistering documentary, Better Off Dead? A real must watch. theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/a…

Have you been affected by long waits for wheelchairs on the NHS? My colleague Sarah Marsh would like to hear your experience. theguardian.com/society/articl…

Ban skittles from civil service canteens and next time there is a rainbow we bomb the sky

This is a rallying cry for care homes to stop infantilising the elderly, not assisted dying.

I cannot emphasise enough that Sunak saying “Starmer even let Natalie Elphicke into his party!” is not a sick burn when she came from the…Tory party.

As propaganda goes, Israel rebranding people opposing their war crimes as “haters” is practically dystopian.

It is hard to find hope in such atrocity but - watching the pushback over Israel in Eurovision - it really shows how widespread calls for a ceasefire are. Outside of a few tweets, the vast majority see the genocide in Gaza exactly as it is. Israel’s supporters are the minority.

Regular reminder it is not “tribal” to not want a refugee-hating sexual assault-excusing free-school-meal-mocking right wing politician to join the Labour Party. It is “having basic standards and principles.”

Whilst I’m open to most jokes surrounding Labour accepting Elphicke, I’m not sure Conservative MPs are quite the right mouthpiece. “Haha she’s such an awful person, she could only ever be a Tory!” is not actually the sick burn they think it is.