When you spray air freshener in the bathroom and it just makes tropical scented shit...

'Whats that Lassie? Little Timmy fell down the old Well but you're too fabulous to care?!'

“I would like to speak with your manager please.”

When you're giving somebody advice but you end it with; 'but its up to you really' just in case it ruins their life...

Felt cute, might delete later...

When your Dad drives past McDonalds...

When you use Google to win an arguement and realise you were wrong...

Deaf leopard.

Half Leopard, half Footstool, all terror...

I told you it was fucking hunting season Doreen but Nooooo, we had to visit your sisters new place by the lake!'

The vet...

Me reading 200 comments of an argument on facebook that has nothing to do with me...

The morning after the night before....

When you go out for a quiet drink on Thursday, and you have just realised it's now Saturday...

'I came in like a wrecking Mole!'

When you get all dressed up to go out and the cancellation texts start coming through...

When I asked the wife to take the dogs for a walk, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind...