Imagine as Trump’s illegitimate child, you realized he paid a adult film star 5 times what he paid for you to keep your story secret.

Imagine you are an adult and someone told you that when you were a child, your real father, a former president and a billionaire, had a Walmart tabloid pay someone 30k to keep the story of him being your father secret.

Hey Allen Weisselberger, what do?

Updated again:

A playboy model
A mediocre lawyer
An adult film star
A reality tv show contestant
A CFO
A Doorman
... and a Pecker walked into a bar...

Oh lord. We may finally hear about trumps illegitimate child

Wait. Weisselberg took notes of the steps of the crime, on the side of the Michael cohen bank statement page showing the payment to stormy? Detailing the structure of the 420k reimbursement to make up for the income taxes cohen had to pay? Oh lord

Hold up
Only Trump could do this: From Karen McDougal's Anderson Cooper 360° interview just now:

He cheated on Karen McDougal with Stormy Daniels the same weekend they both were in Lake Tahoe, while cheating on Melania.
..............

Happy pecker day

Subaru mechanics, did he break the differential or the gear box? ( watch the end)

There was a red bull formula 1 car ( I think the RB7?) that was making some noise in DC today and doing donuts on constitution avenue
Oh and the Subaru broke down.

. #MoscowMarjorie pictures when the house passed the ukraine aid bill

I lovz the interwebs

I can’t

Who is gonna tell him it was a grave mistake

The dude who lit himself on fire in New York City outside of the courthouse was a……..
FLORIDA MAN.

Breaking:
Someone lit himself/herself on fire near the trump trial courthouse

BREAKING
The 12 juries and 6 alternates are selected.
THE TRIAL IS ON

From the 2017 tweet cellar

Netanyahu is that texas afluenza child we keep bailing out after getting drunk then getting behind the wheels and crashing into other drivers